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Sean A. Berridge

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Instead of sleeping [Mar. 18th, 2013|06:06 am]
Sean A. Berridge

  I had to follow her for minutes and minutes before she chose to sit down. I couldn’t help it, not from the moment I saw her. The last few weeks had been particularly bad for me. Right now, I needed this more than anything.
  I told myself that over and over, not allowing myself to look away from her. I was on a high here, caught in this hot, impassioned period like the few, aching minutes before an orgasm. I had to stop myself from shaking, but that was good: the more things I had to occupy my mind, the better. I repeated my mantra (“I need this, I need this”) like a child scrunching her face and covering her ears shouting “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” That was me. I was shouting, and it worked. I couldn’t hear them. Not in these few, aching moments.

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Part 2 [Nov. 4th, 2012|08:42 pm]
Sean A. Berridge

Many years went by, but the Man did not stop dreaming. The crucible of his mind, unable to produce anything real, eventually toppled, spilling its contents into the atmosphere of the room. The room filled with light, brighter than the sky, and swirled towards the center until it was in the shape of a massive egg. The egg rotated slowly as it changed shape, remapping itself into a more familiar body. Soon, a child made of light stood on the floor below where the egg had hovered. With this, The Entity was born.               

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Nano 2012 [Nov. 3rd, 2012|09:16 pm]
Sean A. Berridge

The story begins long ago, when the world was a very different place. The East, West, North and South were but a single landmass, negating any sense of foreignism. The water that cascaded endlessly into the horizon was as vast as the darkness in space, and as likely to be travelled.  Things lived there, but their voices were unheard. Many voices were unheard in this time, as the unified voice of those on the land was much too loud to hear anything else.
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Nanowrimo 2011 begins (begins, begins) [Nov. 1st, 2011|10:46 pm]
Sean A. Berridge

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Days left: 29
Words: 544 / 50000
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LoZapalooza IV [May. 8th, 2011|03:14 pm]
Sean A. Berridge

Recorded for posterity.

1. Stefan; Link's Awakening; 11.5 hours
2. Myan; Oracle of Ages; 12.5 hours
3. Sean; Wind Waker; 14.5 hours
4. Alecks; Majora's Mask; 14.75 hours (and all-masks soon after)
5. Peter; A Link to the Past; 16.75 hours
6. Midas; Ocarina of Time; 21 hours
7. Dave; Master Quest; close but incomplete

A hearty well-done to all LoZanauts! See you next year!
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Temporary Landing Zone [Mar. 31st, 2011|08:19 am]
Sean A. Berridge
Since I have no place to post my writing, here will do for now!

This one is based off a dream I had about 12 hours ago.

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Extended Metaphors [Jan. 9th, 2011|01:28 pm]
Sean A. Berridge
[Current Mood |amusedamused]

Has it already been half a year since our last LoZapalooza?

Is it really 2011 already? What did I do in 2010?

I guess a lot. Don't worry, this isn't a "WHERE IS MY LIFE GOING" post. I'm just genuinely in the moment of being surprised at how quickly the last six months have gone.

Perhaps Ernest's comment about the "hyperbolic time chamber" were correct, inadvertently, just in a more general way. In 4 months, I've grown as though I lived 16 months in Vancouver.


One of the conditions of the HTC is that if you stay in it for too long, you can never leave. I feel like for that to happen, I would have to stay here for a year or more without ever visiting home, and that`s not going to happen. Right now I`m eager to get back to my own environment. I have too much on my mind, that`s been built up over this time, with no way to output it.

An explosion of creative juices.

The amount of knowledge and growth I`ve acquired on this trip is nowhere near my peak, though. So I will have to return some day, and finish my training.

Leaving now is just to take a rest.
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Day 2 [Jul. 22nd, 2010|03:12 pm]
Sean A. Berridge
Last night, despite telling myself I would go to bed early, I stayed up extraordinarily late. I often wonder how I so quickly lose good life habits, and this is it: sleep has negative priority. Perhaps not in the forefront of my mind, as I know restfulness is the crux of many of my problems but subconsciously, I would rather stay up chatting with someone or surfing the web or playing Street Fighter. This is one of the issues I'm hoping I'll be forced to fix when I go to Japan.

My Japan trip, excursion, journey, quest, adventure is happening in less than a few months. I don't feel as prepared as I could be, but I feel like I could deal with things fine if I had to go tomorrow. I'm a bit frightened, as I always am in new situations, but confident. I've been able to make enough money to cover my ass, something I wasn't sure I would be able to do, so that's certainly set me at ease a little bit.

Often, I wonder if I should have been chosen to go. I feel like it is a great opportunity for me and that I'm extremely lucky and that it might change my life completely, but I can't help but wonder if I deserve to go.

At first, I didn't even want to go. I didn't apply in the first semester, and when people asked why, I shrugged and hmmed and hawed and had no good response. Truthfully, I was too scared to just up and leave and go to a new place. In the second semester, I was coerced by my friend to apply, and with the confidence of doing well in my Japanese studies, I agreed. My friend was incredibly gung-ho and prepared much better than I. I slapped together a few things last minute and didn't even get a proper reference letter from my employer(though that was no fault of my own - just my terrible, terrible place of work). Thankfully, we both got called in for an interview, but I had the upper hand, as I got to go second. When she came out, she told me all the questions they asked, and I was able to prepare. She felt that she made mistakes during the interview; when I did it, I felt like I did it flawlessly.

Sure enough, the next day I was called and I had gotten the award. I felt both ecstatic and terrible at the same time - I was certain, somehow, that she hadn't got it. I didn't call her right away in case she would get a call later in the weekend, but on Monday, I had to tell her. She was a bit depressed, but resilient, promising to apply next semester and try her hardest.

I don't like getting awarded for mediocrity. It's one of my pet peeves. If I don't try, I shouldn't get anything - and yet, much of my life is based on me doing the minimum amount of work for the same results. I blame my job(again), but the hypocrisy is still evident, I'm not denying this. However, I see it more as me pointing out the flaws in the system via my life. Nevertheless, sometimes I wish she had gotten it instead of me. Obviously though, not /that/ much. Otherwise I would have talked to the board about declining the award.


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Expo 64 feat. Ico and the Sunshine Band [Jul. 21st, 2010|04:28 pm]
Sean A. Berridge


I'm not going to type out the standard "It's been so long" rant because they genuinely irk me and hypocrisy is not a good way to start a journal entry that's intended to be about honesty.

I haven't posted in a while because I felt there was no reason to. "Why should I care about what people think about me?", I says. "I should just be able to live my life without telling people about it to affirm my own existence. How needy some people are."

With that smug concept in my head, I stopped posting and moved away from LJ, Facebook, and eventually even MSN(although that was due to it taking up way too much of my time). All in all, I've found it's affected me for the better, despite being initiated by the wrong idea. I am back though, and no, this still isn't hypocrisy.

I'm back for a different reason. Lately, I've had difficulty motivating myself in certain ways, partially due to my elevated insomnia and partially due to my elevated procrastination. These aren't excuses, though. I take full blame for it, and intend to do my best to fix it, as I have been trying for some time. I feel like I've come leaps and bounds, but I'm still not back to where I want to be.

This is where journal posting comes in. I'm a firm believer of the "self-fulfilling prophecy" theory, which is based around self-image and optimism vs. pessimism. In this way, I believe that my brilliant idea that I didn't need to share my life with the world resulted in a life that shouldn't be shared with the world: a secret life that I didn't want anyone to know about. This is a problem. Inversely, if I shared my life with the world daily, talking about my problems, my failures, and my happiness, perhaps I would begin to live a life worth talking about. Do you see the basis of my theory?

So that's where I'm at, and where I'll begin. I don't know how many people still read this and frankly, it doesn't matter. The fact that it's public is enough to make it worth my time. It's somewhat of a placebo and somewhat of a trial run. We'll see what happens.

Monday was the fifth annual LoZapalooza, and for the second time, we deviated from the titular theme and focused primarily on 3D platformers. The N64 era being rife with such games, that system was the star of the show, having a total of 4 people using it. We had 6 people in total, as follows(apologies, I don't know everyone's stats. postem if you gottem):

Me, playing Banjo-Tooie(finished in 13 hours with 70 jiggies);
Alex, playing Mario 64(finished);
Dave, playing Shadow of the Colossus(finished TWICE, once in 6 hours);
Peter, playing DK64(didn't finish, but ran about 18 hours);
Myan, playing Super Mario Sunshine(finished with 60 shines in 7 hours);
Stefan, playing Banjo-Kazooie(finished with 100% in 11 hours).

Pretty impressive, across the board. It was loads of fun, even though I was less animated and more tired than usual. This was due to my place of employment signing me up to work 16 hours in two days, virtually back to back(3pm - 11pm and then 9am - 5pm), and although I tried to nap before the event, my insomnia didn't want to so I had to deal with it. I haven't been well-rested in a while, in fact.

I'm not sure what the case is. Often I'll sleep for 10 or so hours, and still feel ill or drowsy or tired for most of the day. I've recently changed my eating habits - much less meat and such - for the sole reason that my stomach issues have caused me to stop eating all together if I don't have anything that's easy on the poor guy. Vegetables seem to be the only food group that doesn't hurt it at all, so I finally bit the carrot and welcomed them into my life. I think this change could be affecting my overall energy.

I have much more to say, but if this is truly going to be a daily journal then I'll just post more tomorrow. I'm not out of time, but I know that long entries are difficult to read, especially if you have a short attention span(like myself).

With that, I will prepare to go to work, a place deserving of it's own well-thought-out, hateful journal entry.
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Olympic Break [Feb. 14th, 2010|03:20 am]
Sean A. Berridge
[Current Mood |ecstaticecstatic]


I feel so great. Lifting the burden of responsibility, even of something so simple like homework, does so much.

Yesterday, I slept in for many hours, counteracting the two all-nighters I had to pull during the last week before the break. Then, I played various video games with various friends, making up for the lack of gaming for the passed few weeks, while watching the Olympic ceremonies. Afterwards, I watched many episodes of Dollhouse while playing video games early into the morning, like I used to do.

This morning, I woke up to my mom calling me, wondering why I hadn't left for work yet. I got to work late, hung out for a couple hours, and then left early to reach my friend's concert down near BC Place. We rocked out and it was a blast. Even my Japanese teacher was there, and she authorized us to forget about Japanese during the break. YES. Also I got an autographed CD of CJ's stuff. Awesome.

Then I bummed around downtown for a bit, listening to various other performances including one at Lonsdale Quay. Following that, I met up with Julian, Michelle, Aaron, and others, and we went to the Met to drink. Then I walked home from the Quay in the rain. Oh, and I saw John, another of my Japanese colleagues, at the Quay! What are the odds?

So far, a good start to my break. I'm walking on air right now. Although it could just be the alcohol speaking.
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